MY BEAUTY IS ASLEEP (YA contemp coming-of-age)

[britstanford]

Thank you for all the helpful feedback! Here's Revision 1: 

Dear Agent,


17 y/o Tree’s best friend Josephina has a sleeping disorder and hasn’t woken up since their high school grad party four weeks ago. This is a problem for four reasons: one, it all may be his fault; two, he may be in love with her; three, university orientation is fast approaching; and four, he needs her help stop his dad from remarrying his evil mom.


Strangely, on the night she fell asleep, Jo left her private diary for Tree to read. Hoping to find clues to wake her up, Tree reads and discovers a Jo he never knew. Jo struggles with severe social anxiety and compulsive lying, hates her family’s wildly popular family-travel YouTube channel, and her babushka thinks she’s a lazy good-for-nothing. To cope, she escapes to fantasy world in her dreams. But, the more she escapes, the harder it is to wake up. Jo desperately wants to become a respected medical researcher. She knows she needs to learn to wake up before college, but how?


When Jo meets Tree, he demands completes honesty or friends-off. She agrees, but doesn’t tell him they’re competing for the same science scholarship. As Jo begins to fall in love with Tree and fights to tell the truth, it becomes easier to stay awake. But, her dreamworld isn’t happy she’s stayed away so long, and she worries she won’t have the strength to stay awake at all if Tree rejects her.


My Beauty is Asleep is a 70k YA coming-of-age fiction for fans of Starfish (Akemi Dawn Bowman) and Turtles All the Way Down (John Green).



As a teen who struggled with social anxiety, this is the book I wish I could give to my younger self. I have my BSc in Journalism and Communication. In 2018, I led the Teen Summer Reading Program for my local library, which used the beta copy of my YA fantasy novel. I've worked as a grant writer, a biographer for seniors, and a columnist. My articles have appeared in the Lethbridge Herald and the Medicine Hat News.



Best,



Brit Stanford

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[Lora Palmer]

Hi, there! I like your query and the premise of the story! Great job condensing your story into a concise, clear paragraph!

Here is an idea for a couple of tweaks:

"Jo Svelikov is a modern day Sleeping Beauty with social anxiety and a sleeping disorder. Afraid of sleeping through graduation and college, she knows it's time to trade her fantasy dreamworld for reality [and here, you do have plenty of space to add anything specific she wants out of reality in her college and love life]. When her dreams turn against her and she falls in love for real, she must learn to deal with her anxiety before she's trapped in a nightmare she can't wake up from."

[juliaalexandra17]

Hi Brit,

I like the unique take on Sleeping Beauty and the idea of trading a fantasy dreamworld for reality. But I am wondering if there is a way for you to say more about why she must start living in reality. Is she finally excited about college after taking boring high school classes she never cared about? I also think that you could be more specific about what "dreams turning against her" looks like. I definitely think having a short query right now is wonderful, but I think you might want to include some more details like Jo's motivation and what specifically she is up against. I think it's an interesting premise though!

[KWR229]

Love the idea of a character with a sleep disorder. I'm definitely intrigued. I think agents may want a bit more detail about the plot to help them place where they'd market the book (but that's coming from a reader who hasn't read one of your comps, so take my comment with a grain of salt). Is this a true modern fairytale retelling or is the Sleeping Beauty thing brought up to show that Jo is living in a half-asleep fantasy world? Like others have said, I think you have room to give a bit more about who or what the antagonist is and what the stakes are.

[christinaf]

Jul 13, 2022 23:54:38 GMT -5 britstanford said:

Dear Agent,


I’m seeking representation for my 60k word YA coming-of-age fiction My Beauty is Asleep. I think you can just say MY BEAUTY IS ASLEEP is a young adult contemporary complete at 60,000 words. It is Starfish by Akemi Dawn-Bowman meets The Fault in our Stars by John Green. (You don't need to say you're seeking rep since agents would know that. I would also add your comps here.)


Afraid of sleeping through graduation and into college, Jo Svetlikov, a modern day Sleeping Beauty with social anxiety and a sleeping disorder must trade her fantasy dreamworld (does she prefer her fantasy dreamworld even though she's afraid of sleeping thru her life? Maybe add why it's a trade for her and/or how she hopes to make that trade if this is a disorder that she probably(?) can't control) for reality; but when her dreams turn against her (how do they turn against her) and she falls in love for real(does this mean she falls in love in her waking life?), she must learn to deal with her anxiety before she’s trapped in a nightmare she can’t wake up from. My Beauty is Asleep is a contemporary YA similar to Starfish by Akemi Dawn-Bowman and The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. (I think if you could add a bit more about the character of Jo and the stakes this could make the query shine even more! It's a great start though! Good luck with this project!)


Learning to exist in the real world after worldwide lockdowns has got most of us feeling a bit anxious. As a teen who struggled with social anxiety, this is the book I wish I could give to my younger self. I have my BSc in Journalism and Communication. In 2018, I led the Teen Summer Reading Program for my local library, which used the beta copy of my YA fantasy novel. I've worked as a grant writer, a biographer for seniors, and a columnist. My articles have appeared in the Lethbridge Herald and the Medicine Hat News.


Best,

Brit Stanford

[hannahgreer]

Jul 13, 2022 23:54:38 GMT -5 britstanford said:

Dear Agent,


I’m seeking representation for my 60k word YA coming-of-age fiction My Beauty is Asleep.


Afraid of sleeping through graduation and into college, Jo Svetlikov, a modern day Sleeping Beauty with social anxiety and a sleeping disorder must trade her fantasy dreamworld for reality; but when her dreams turn against her and she falls in love for real(to me, this makes it sound like she fell in love because her dreams turned again her), she must learn to deal with her anxiety before she’s trapped in a nightmare she can’t wake up from. My Beauty is Asleep is a contemporary YA similar to Starfish by Akemi Dawn-Bowman and The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. A sleeping beauty with social anxiety and a sleeping disorder sounds like such an interesting spin on an old classic! I do want to mention though, from what I've been hearing, The Fault in Our Stars as a comp title may be a little outdated for some agents.


Learning to exist in the real world after worldwide lockdowns has got most of us feeling a bit anxious. As a teen who struggled with social anxiety, this is the book I wish I could give to my younger self. I have my BSc in Journalism and Communication. In 2018, I led the Teen Summer Reading Program for my local library, which used the beta copy of my YA fantasy novel. I've worked as a grant writer, a biographer for seniors, and a columnist. My articles have appeared in the Lethbridge Herald and the Medicine Hat News.


Best,

Brit Stanford

Hi Brit! Your premise seems really interesting, but I'm left wanting more. I still feel like I know so little about the character and the situation. The details around her goals and the stakes are a bit vague.  More information could really help show why and how your story stands out against all the other coming-of-age-for-characters-with-anxiety stories. It sounds really unique from what I've heard so far, but you could present it even more. Good luck querying!